Monday 21 July 2014

School...

School has started and the jet lag is over. It was nice having an excuse to not do things but I can't keep that excuse forever, i'll have to think of a new one.
I thought it was weird when I saw my friend still had her watch on Australian time when she was back in Germany,now I totally understand. It's not that I am too lazy to change it (well perhaps that aswell) but it feels like I still belong in Germany. I tell my brother I can't play soccer for too long because 'The Germans' will have their morning break soon, I look at my watch and think "oh the Germans will be awake soon". I haven't quite managed to totally pull myself away from it and its getting harder to live two lives at once.
Today I had my first day back at Orana, it was weird going back there after being at a completely different school in Germany. I knew I was definitely back at Orana when the teacher said "Now, we're going on a walk, I want you to collect 10 different types of leaves", so off we went on our nice morning walk.
The thing I struggled most with at the school in Germany was that the students had no connection with the teachers. The teachers didn't care about the students personal life at all, they didn't even ask where I was from or how long I was staying for. They do their job and as long as the students get good marks and do the work, nothing else matters. If the students fall behind, that's their problem, they can organize a tutor or leave the school is needs be.  It was so nice coming back today and talking to a teacher the whole morning break about my experiences and just having a nice chat without it being weird that I was a student and she was a teacher.
Something that I found really strange was last year the teacher said, "It affects your learning when you are in shoe box sort of classroom or one of these classrooms filled with different shapes,sizes and colours". I seriously thought they were mad. As if it had anything to do with learning, it's just Steiner that wants the buildings to look weird. After sitting in a shoe box for 6 months I really noticed the difference. It's almost like they don't want you to imagine things with your learning, its all straight until you get the right answer, there is no poking about and slowly coming to the answer. Where as at Orana the teachers take in the different opinions and through discussing the different aspects of it, come to the right answer. There is no straight forward "no". I think the learning space has something to do with it, you don't feel so enclosed and narrow minded, you have the freedom to think. It's something I missed a lot, even the school in general. The one in Germany was simple but ugly, it was a place to learn and nothing more, in my opinion there is more to school.
I have to say it was almost the best feeling having all the classes in English, everything seems to be a breeze now. The day was shorter because I didn't have to concentrate and translate everything in my mind, it was great. I made a deal with myself that I would be really switched on and start my assignments and homework...lets see how long I last.
I know this post seems short considering I am comparing the two completely different types of schools but it's only my first day back so there will be more :)

Friday 18 July 2014

Home sweet home

It doesn't feel right writing this from Australia, Canberra, in my very own house, in front of the warm fire.  It just doesn't make sense.
When i first arrived in Sydney the first person to talk to me was from the airport. I couldn't have heard anything better but the sound of the Aussie accent, it was truly amazing. I thought they were just putting on the accent or they were a real Aussie but when I walked through the airport everyone was speaking with this weird accent, I loved it. It was so great to be able to speak to strangers without any problems and having to think about what I was saying.
I went to Woden on my first day, I knew I was back when I looked around and counted how many bogans there were.
I don't think I could be in a better place right now, home is where I need to be. Although I found it hard leaving Germany and the people there, I am so happy to be back. It's a weird feeling, I don't feel the need to catch up with people because I have lasted all these months without seeing any of them and now that I am back it just doesn't matter if I go through another few weeks without seeing them.
The changes here are very minimal but it's nice trying to point them out and appreciate them. Apart from the fact that the dog has changed into a psycho case, not very much has changed here at home.
I have no motivation to do anything, my bags were still packed until this morning when I decided to do it because I was starting to embarrass myself. The blog is another story... I just haven't brought myself to writing anything because everything is normal now. In Germany I had open eyes to notice what the differences are but here everything is normal and I can't find anything interesting. It makes writing hard because a lot of posts were about the differences and it was so much fun writing about it.
The question I get asked most from people my age is, "How did you survive half a year away?" my answer is always, "I really have no idea". It's such a hard question to answer because there is no answer to it, I just pushed myself through the 6 months and I don't know how. It just shows that it's possible for everyone, you just have to pull through it and even when things get tricky there will always be light at the end of the tunnel.

I know that it's going to be hard writing posts but there will most definitely be one next week when school starts again, so stay posted.


Saturday 12 July 2014

Goodbye

I remember sitting here 161 days ago thinking to myself "what am I doing?". Those words were stuck in my head as I realized what was ahead of me. When thinking to myself, the word which was most used was 'survive', I had to survive this but how?
I refused to listen to anyone who told me it will be a great experience, I'm going to have so much fun, I'll learn so much and so on. Seriously, what were they thinking? How am I going to have fun when all my friends back home are doing things without me and I am stuck here with no friends and all I am going to want to do is go home.  I always new i had to do this exchange and I was completely against it. Why would my parents put me through torture just to get a different experience, I rather stay at home. "You,re going to thank me after this" said my Mum has I went through the departure gates.
I know I have written all negative thoughts above but no positive thoughts crossed my mind when I thought about the exchange. It may because I am a negative person but I always try and stay opened minded however, it just didn't work.
The first night here was the hardest, tears came to my eyes as I thought about the road ahead and I just didn't want to believe where I was.
As the days carried on I still thought the whole idea of it all was stupid. I had so much on my hands and couldn't think straight. The days turned into weeks and there were a couple of days where I started enjoyed myself, but not enough. I could feel everything getting better as I made more friends and tried to be myself and get out more. Everyone would be talking about their plans for the weekend and where they were going to meet up. I couldn't do anything about it, I had to remember that not only were they new to me, I was new to them. I struggled to find my feet at school and nothing got any better until the last two months month.
Not only  did I have to think about what was happening in my life, I had to keep up to date with what was happening back home. But was that really necessary? No, it was a complete waste of time. Not only was I moving on, they were too. Now that I think about it, I am happy so many people moved on with life and left me behind. Of course it's a sad feeling but it is probably for the best, if we can't hold on to our friendship while we're living different lives then it isn't strong enough keeping.
The months moved on faster than I thought and I stopped counting down the days until the 13th of July. Now it is the the night before the 13th and I honestly feel the same way I felt when I got here but about Australia this time.
It's not going to be easy, it's like I left a life behind for the better and had to move on. I  moved on and made a better life but now I have to leave it and go back to the one I left before.  It's all a bit complicated but how boring would life be if it wasn't?
You may be reading this thinking that I regret a lot of moves I made but I don't regret anything I have done because I have learnt so much and I couldn't be more happy with the choices I made and the outcome . People say "you didn't even want to go at first". No of course I didn't and I am glad I thought that because it feels like I have achieved something now. I proved everyone wrong and even better, I proved myself wrong. I honestly haven't achieved something bigger than this and its one of the best feelings to have.

This is the last post I am going to be publishing from Germany,but not my last post forever. If I leave it at this its like an unfinished book.

Friday 11 July 2014

Final days, final goodbyes

The days are ending and the tears are coming. It hasn't sunk in that I am actually going, it feels like a dream and i'll wake up in Canberra.
I say goodbye to people knowing that I wont see them for years, I say goodbye to teachers knowing they will never be a part of my life again. Although school was hard, the people were amazing and so welcoming. I guess leaving shows me which people actually noticed I was there and felt the need to say goodbye. Others kept to themself and knew they wouldn't see me again so why bother saying goodbye?
It hurts knowing that I could loose all these friendships because of the distance. Of course we can keep intouch but I know very few will.
Without the people here my time wouldn't have been the same. They were all so nice and friendly and made sure I was always being cared for. I can say it wasn't easy going to a new school where no one spoke English, I didn't know anyone and on the first day I was put in a class to fend for myself. Well, that's what I thought but no one allowed me to sit alone or even walk to class alone, they were always there and I honestly couldn't have done it without them.
Another thing that I couldn't have done without was soccer. It was something I could commit to and also do without having any struggles, it also helped that my team was made up of the nicest people. I'm going to miss it so much but it really shows that no matter what talent you have, you can do it anywhere and also meet amazing people.
Unfortunately I can't write about everything I will miss here or what I have enjoyed but its simple, I will miss everyone and everything.

 This is not my last post so stayed posted for tomorrows end post :)  

Tuesday 1 July 2014

Just a few thoughts...

Just a reminder, this is my opinion and how I see things so no one has to agree with me. 

In Australia it's like everything revolves around attention and popularity. You have to have the latest and greatest to be 'cool' and you have to get the most likes on your facebook picture to be popular. Then there are the other people who either make their life miserable and  want to be sad to get attention or have nothing better to do. There are also the ones who have mental illnesses and I fully respect that, they can't do anything about it.
I am not scared to say that I was one of the people who only wore clothes if they had a good label, its embarrassing now that I think about it. I'm not saying that has completely changed but it has changed a lot. It's amazing to see how much the people who surround you influence you. When everyone cares what brands they wear,of course you're going to start to do the same, just out of habit. There are people who are strong and don't fall into these traps, they are lucky because they are their own self and are not a shadow of the people around them. Wouldn't everything be better if everyone was different and themselves, if they didn't try to impress the ones around them?
Well, in Germany the people are something like that. Life doesn't revolve around being sad and miserable, you have to be happy to live a good life. School is so important here and it all revolves around the marks. Despite this, if they realize it's taking over their social life something has to be changed. Socializing is a big thing here, and no one can get enough of it. Perhaps its easier to catch up with people because everything is walking/ riding distance in the village and so its easy to say "meet me in 5 minutes".  However, it does lie upon the people aswell, because they want to get out and go for a drink or go for a nice walk, stuff sitting around at home all weekend.
I am here thinking, 'Going back home is not going to easy. Just because I have changed as a person, it    doesn't mean anyone else has, perhaps no one. I don't want to live the life I was living when i left but it's going to be hard to live my German life with different people and on the other side of the world. Why does it hurt so much to think of the person I was before I left? Because no doubt, I will fall back into the same traps.'


Monday 30 June 2014

Europa Park

The weeks are coming to an end and the stress is starting. I was originally going to write about the stress but I decided it would be boring. To make things more boring, i'll write about one of my highlights.

Europa Park

Europa park is the biggest theme park in Germany and can accommodate for over 50,000 guests per day. It's nothing like Lunar Park, it is bigger and better. Entry costs around 40 euros for a day pass but this allows you access to every ride without any higher costs. Not only do you get to choose from the 48 rides but there are amazing shows which are also great to see. You can travel through Europe in a day, there are 12 countries and each country represents their culture. The park has 5 resorts which are absolutely amazing and so well built, it also has camping resort, I wouldn't call it camping though.
  'Silver Star' is the biggest roller coaster in Europe and my favorite one at Europa park. The tallest point is 73 metres high and has a speed of 130km/h. The feeling you get can't be described but it has to be experienced one time in your life time. Another highlight is 'blue fire' which isn't as big but you get a shock when the train accelerates to 115km/h in 2.5 seconds.
If your ever visiting Europe, Europa park is a must see. Something you wont experience anywhere else. I was lucky and visited the park twice in 5 and a half months.
Enjoy some photos (not taken by me)
  Silver Star
        Blue Fire 
One of the hotels 



Tuesday 24 June 2014

Another visit to Portugal

Last time I wrote about my time in Portugal it started with 'Portugal. A place which I can't quite work out even after spending a week there'
Nothing has changed since, I  still can't work it out. I saw a different part of Portugal this time and that was the city, it was beautiful. A little bit like Paris with the atmosphere being full of life, the buildings were similar, the metro and all the tourists. The week was spent at my host families holiday house with another family who were staying nearby.The days were spent relaxing by the pool and on the beach. The water was still way to cold for someone from Australia but I managed to go swimming nearly everyday.  We arrived in Lisbon (the capital of Portugal) late in the afternoon on Saturday and spent one night there as we were flying back to Germany early the next morning. It was amazing to see how much life there is late in the night. We watched Germany vs Ghana in a pub (I have to say its pretty good being 16). Here is a photo of what it was like in the pub:

Every single night I had problems with mosquitoes. It was the most annoying thing ever, I would wake up to a buzzing in my ear between 12:00-3:00am  and spend an hour trying to kill the stupid things. Sometimes I managed but other times I went crazy and gave up. After a week of living with the stupid insects i came to the weird conclusion that they have personalities. Some of them were REALLY annoying and wouldn't leave me alone but other ones would buzz in my ear, maybe bite me and then leave.There were hungry ones which weren't too annoying, they just bit me on my face or hands and then left. There were also sneaky ones which hid under the bed so I couldn't find them when I turned the light on and then they would come out again. One night I went crazy and took a photo of one of the bites because it was so itchy, I looked at the details of the photo and it was taken exactly at 2:46am.I have no idea what I was thinking but here is the photo (it's pretty disgusting): 

And here is a video of someone we listened to on the street. He had an amazing voice and deserves to be recognized.  Sorry about the quality,I'm not the worlds best filmer:

 It was a perfect holiday to end my stay here. I am not in a writing mood so I'll post more pictures instead. The months are coming to an end and now its only weeks, I can't believe it but that will be in another post still to come.
The pool at the holiday house 

I thought it would be cool to get a photo of someone surfing with the view behind
them but unfortunately the waves weren't very good.  

This was a spot on the beach which was out of the sun and also out of the wind. 

Here is Lisbon

Another photo of the swimming pool 

And lastly these cool statues we climbed on which was also in Lisbon